Learning To Forgive

COLOSSIANS 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I think to a degree we as humans carry around excess baggage. I know I did and still do. But some the things I learned and carried around was anger, hate, and unforgiveness. It seemed my father was angry a lot especially when he would drink. And as the oldest son, to me it seemed I caught the brunt of his anger. And don’t get me wrong, my father was not all bad. My parents were good providers and with four children we never went without. We just didn’t have a lot of extras and that was ok because my father taught me early on how to work.
I think where things or his anger got bad was when he was diagnosed with cancer and he could no longer work. You see my dad was not an idle person, he had to be doing something at all times. And I loved some of those years because he taught me to farm and work on cars, things of that nature. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with cancer that I understood his anger. I think that I learned to be angry from him plus the abuse there was that I also learned to hate. And for the most part it was him that I was angry with and hated. As a young child through youth my mother often told me that I was going to be just like my father. The truth is known, I grew to be the spitting image in character as my father. Plus all the medical problems he had I also have. I didn’t just have anger and hate because of the abuse; I hated and blamed him because I got cancer and all the other diseases and medical problems that stemmed from the type of cancer. I witnessed dad spend most of his life in and out of hospitals, surgery after surgery. The difference between him and me is he didn’t have Christ all that time and I am a child of God. I do have hope that I will see him in Heaven though.
In October of 2009 when I had enough and sought out Christ, I had a friend suggest that I do a Bible Study on Identity in Christ by Charles Stanley. And he even gave one to me. It seemed to take along time to start doing the work mostly because I would open it, read a little and decide it to be to hard and close it. Then God started to convict me that I needed to know Christ and His forgiveness. And in that study was a section about forgiveness and being forgiven. There also was a factor that I love listening to preaching and everything that I was hearing had to do with forgiveness. I knew that Christ forgives me for my sins but I had no forgiveness in my heart. I started talking to God asking Him to show me how to forgive and where to start. By this time my dad had passed away from the effects of a stroke and a brain tumor. I started receiving conviction that I needed to start by forgiving my earthly father. But I asked God how could I forgive my father when he is not living any longer. That is when I believe as I opened up my Bible this and another Scripture that at this time can’t remember spoke to me. COLOSSIANS 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. At that time I dropped to my knees crying asking for God’s forgiveness for having such a hardened heart. I asked God to teach me how to forgive and this is what I believe God told me, How can you not forgive I forgave you! I then asked God to change my heart, to give me a heart that forgives and teach me how not to hate and how to love. This started my journey on learning to forgive. Christ changed my heart and gave me the desire to seek Him and set me on the path that I never want to go back.

Click this title, “Brotherly Love,” which is a continuance of this story

In Christ

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011 and 2012

  1. Good post, Bart. It appears you and I traveled some familiar paths. I don’t know if you’ve read any of my stories on my blog, but here’s one you might be able to relate to: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/those-dreaded-friday-night-lights-2/

  2. Bart, I am sitting here crying after dropping to my knees and asking God to help me to forgive and to soften my heart just as you did. YOU are so wonderful for posting this as I surely needed it, I have had so much hatred and un~forgiveness towards my daughters murderer and today your post helped me begin the journey to forgiveness. GOD HAS BLESSED YOU BART with this powerful testimony you have moved this hard heart to the knees beging. So thank you my dear friend and brother in Christ …I have never had another post affect me this way. Praise God!!!!

    • adopted80 says:

      Len, I am humbled and at a loss of words right now. I’ve never had a post others like this one. I really am speechless. As you have said Praise and All Glory Go To God!!!

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