Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

Seducing My Soul

I hear you calling when no one’s around
You’re easy to find one click and you’re found
This is my little secret no one will ever know
I’ll clean my computer the history will never show
If anyone finds out there’s so much at stake
But you whisper sweet nothings that make my skin quake
I feel so guilty when I open your site
The temptation’s so strong I’m weak in this fight
You’re so seductive I can hardly say no
I’m so ashamed but I don’t want you to go
You’re constantly whispering come check me out
Dividing my marriage causing me doubt
Hurting my family you haven’t a care
I cry out to God my soul I must bare
Lord please help me the temptation’s too strong
Be my strength so my choices aren’t wrong
Change my heart so I walk in Your Ways
Be my guide to help me not stray
The Lord’s my strength to persevere in this fight
He convicts my heart to make choices that are right

If you are in bondage and chains to any sexual sin or need help with any hurt, habit or hang up you can contact Celebrate Recovery a Christ centered recovery program at http://www.celebraterecovery.com.

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015

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Voices In My Ear

It’s yet early in the morning and I’m wide awake
If I make the wrong choices my integrity’s at stake
As I sit at my computer I ponder with what to write
I hear a voice whispering come and look at my site
No one will know what do I have to loose
This voice keeps whispering let me help you choose
Everyone’s asleep now no one will know
I forget about the history that my computer will show
It will be my little secret who is it going to hurt
The voice keeps whispering come and look at this dirt
This voice keeps whispering come and take a peek
It’s pleasure that we’re after as we play hide and seek
I hear a softer voice whispering in my ear
Open up My Word it’s Me that you draw near
I now have two choices which one will I choose
If I make the wrong choice it’s more than integrity that I loose
Porn is an addiction and it’s very real
It’s more than joy that satan comes to steal
There’s a slew of problems that porn can start
Separation with God and a broken heart
Porn causes more problems not to mention shame
But we can have true victory in Jesus’ name

I bear my soul and a true struggle that I have with you, in hopes that if there are any of you men or women that struggle with pornography that there is hope, healing and restoration through the Cross, the Blood of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. The hope that I have I found I found through a program called Celebrate Recovery. CR is tool that God uses to lead the broken to victory through Jesus Christ.

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015

Living in a world that’s broken
It’s through Your Word that’s spoken
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

When I try to hide my pain
And my tears fall like rain
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

Living in a world that’s fallen
It’s your voice that I hear calling
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

When I am lost in shame
And have only me to blame
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

Living in a world that lost it’s way
From your Word I do not sway
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

When I find I’m lost in doubt
I pull my hair and want to shout
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

Living in a world that does not care
It’s your Word I’m called to share
It’s You Who I Find Hope In

When I find I’m lost in sin
It’s your forgiveness that draws me in
It’s Only You Who I Find Hope In

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

Do you have a refuge
When times are going rough
Who will be your rescue
When you’re all alone or feeling gruff

Who will be your refuge
When you’re living in despair
Do you have a rescue
When you’re pulling out your hair

Do you have a refuge
When sin’s nipping at your heels
Who will be your rescue
When you haven’t got a meal

Who will be your refuge
When life is full of pain
Who will be your rescue
When your tears turn in to rain

Christ will be your refuge
When life just seems too tough
Christ will be your rescue
When you flat out had enough

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

Have you ever needed to be rescued? Myself, I haven’t, yet I have. I do not claim to have ever been in a tragic situation where I had to rescued by emergency personnel, but I have needed to be rescued from an addiction to methamphetmines that I was in for a great number of years. With Christmas nipping at our heals, it seems a perfect time to write about Who Will Be My Rescue.

2 Timothy 1:9-10
He has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, 10. but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

As I was praying, and searching, and asking to be led to a topic to write about, these verse’s just about leaped off the page. My spirit cried out with thanksgiving to have been rescued, not only from a life in addiction, but most importantly from my life’s choices to be separated from God all because choosing to live in sin. With the addiction came sexual immorality in various forms. A life that now I think about it must have just broke Gods heart. You might ask why I say that. To be honest I got saved as a youth and walked away because I thought God wasn’t hearing or answering my prayers. I had a wish list of things in my life that I wanted God to fix and when he didn’t perform like I thought he should I decided I could do a better job with my life and walked away. But throughout life I still considered myself to be a Christian. At that young age I really wanted God in my life but I wanted for him to fix all my problems too. Throughout life when ever I got in hot water if you will I would seek out a church to attend, or a Bible Study to go to, or just pray for God to get me out of whatever situation that I seemed to have gotten myself in to. A long story short, in 2005 my girlfriend had lost custody of her youngest son in a court battle to her ex-husband. As we were grieving the loss of her son and as I was missing him, I knew she needed spiritual guidance that I couldn’t give her. This was all my thinking. So I heard this voice go to church and there happened to be one just around the corner from her house. And we started attending. Two years later in a rather hot conversation I said if she would just go to church more and her response was that her and God had a relationship that maybe He wasn’t looking for her but instead He was looking for me and the she kicked me out and that’s when I needed to be rescued the most. I was completely broken, nowhere to go and had no one that I could call on. This was now 2009 in Portland, Oregon at the beginning of winter. That is when I knew that Christ is my only hope. I happened to be lost in unforgiveness between a lost relationship between my earthly father and me. I was at my mothers in Dallas, Texas and in the middle of the night one night as I was praying God spoke to my heart that I needed to forgive my dad. I didn’t see how because he was dead, God softly spoke how can I forgive you if you can’t forgive him. I hit my knees crying asking for God to help me forgive my dad. Today I stand forgiven and free not only from the bondage of unforgiveness but also free from the chains of addiction. But I didn’t do it completely on my own, God led me to the ministry of Celebrate Recovery. With their help and the help of the 12 steps and 8 principles Christ has freed me from unfogiveness and addiction and is in the process of healing me. Today with Christ and the help of CR I am learning to make better more healthier choices. I am learning to live a life that is pleasing to God.

If you are broken or hurting or are in bondage to life’s hurts habits and hang-ups please seek Christ as your Rescue. Please don’t go through this Christmas Season alone or broken, thinking you have to go it all alone or that you have to carry the weight of life’s burdens all on your own shoulders. Pray and ask God to reveal Himself to you, to help you seek a relationship with Him and to help you seek Him to heal from the brokenness that is in your heart and your life then confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved. Romans 10:9

In Christ
Bart

Once upon a time
There was a man that could rhyme
He was a man of God
But he liked the applaud
Though he didn’t like to be in a crowd
He would cover his head with a shroud
He would stand or sit in the back
For fear that he would be attacked
He was too anxious to speak out loud
For fear that people would think he was proud
His body was covered with art
That told a story of his heart
He lived in bondage and chains
To an addiction that hardened his veins
He found freedom on two wheels
But the addiction always nipped at his heels
He would give in every time
Followed by guilt and shame they would chime
He had a heart of gold
From him that wouldn’t be told
His life he lived in the dark
Which cast a shadow over his heart
Though life he lived in the night
The shadow would soon be covered with light
The addiction he had to admit
To Christ he soon would submit
This man knew he lived lost
Redemption came through the Cross
Christ softened his heart
Allowing Grace to give him a new start

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014

I Am Carrying Christ In My Heart
From salvation I get a new start
It is Christ that saves me from death
He broke the chains of addiction to meth
Now I carry the seal of the Spirit
I can not earn life by my own merit
So now I am a new creation in life
That doesn’t mean I do not have strife
Now I’ve been called, been set apart
I get to start each day with a new clean heart
I’ve also been called out of the bondage of sin
It starts with the conviction from the Spirit within
Now I start each day refreshed and a new
Because I carry Christ in my heart I get to share this with you

 

© Copyright By Bart Hickey, All Rights Reserved, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014